When I get home Tenma always pretends to be dead
by StarLikeShadow
Summary: "What was it this time?" "Classic kitchen knife" "Yeah..." Tsurugi replied and began to think what it would be this time, a lot of arrows on his back, a butcher knife to his head, being half eaten by a crocodile, the possibilities were endless... KyouTen based off of a Vocaloid song called When I get home my wife always pretends to be dead. T for deaths and "blood"


**Star: Lol this came to us when we saw this TakuRan video in Youtube plus this FubuHaru video we saw too...**

**Kagaya: *gloomy* don't remind me of the second one...**

**Roze: they do not own IE GO or Vocaloid nor this song.**

* * *

Tsurugi sighed as he stood in front of the door to his house. He just came back from coaching his team and was pretty tired but he knew he couldn't relax yet. So he opened the door and went in calling; "I'm home Tenma..." As he went in he looked down to find his... "wife" on the floor in pool of blood, a kitchen knife stuck to his back and his finger looked like he trailed some word, "Soccer" was what the letters formed. Tsurugi was calm, he just sighed and bent down with a small smile. "Looks like the clean up will be tough today..." he laughed.

Soon the brunet, though still faced down, looked satisfied and let out a content "he he he" and looked looked up at Tsurugi. "Welcome home Kyousuke~" he chimed.

"Yeah yeah, get up and let's clean this mess..." Tsurugi said taking out some tissues and plastic bag from the small cabinet near the door. This was a normal thing for the two, Tsurugi comes home, Tenma is dead and then they clean up the mess. "You're just lucky it didn't happen like yesterday..." Tsurugi said.

Tenma rubbed the back of his head. "How was I supposed to know Yuuichi-san was coming for a visit?" he whined as they began wiping the off the "blood" from the floor.

"Alright what did you use this time?" Tsurugi asked.

"I ran out of fake blood so I used ketchup..." Tenma said with a smile.

Tsurugi looked at the Brunet then dipped his finger on the "blood" and tasted it, yup ketchup. Tsurugi sighed again, he couldn't believe he didn't recognize the smell.

* * *

TOMORROW

"What was it this time?" Shindou asked Tsurugi as they watched the players practice.

"Classic kitchen knife" Tsurugi said looking through the strategies they could use.

"That's his favorite isn't it?" Shindou asked and Tsurugi just chuckled.

"Yeah..." Tsurugi replied and began to think what it would be this time, a lot of arrows on his back, a butcher knife to his head, being half eaten by a crocodile, the possibilities were endless...

"I heard Yuuichi-san came and fainted at the sight of a dead Tenma..." Shindou said chuckling.

Tsurugi sighed remembering what had happened.

* * *

FLASHBACK

"Tenma I came to accompany you today~" Yuuichi said opening the door only to find the Brunet on the floor with the kitchen knife to his back. Yuuichi held the smile on his face while turning all white.

Tsurugi just finished today's training and had came home. he came out of his car and looked up to find his brother in front of the door to his house. "Nii-san?" Tsurugi called and touched his brother's shoulder, only for him to fall on the ground side wards. "Nii-san!" He called.

"Yuuichi-san!" Tenma also shouted getting up from the floor.

FLASHBACK END

* * *

"Haha...it must be a shock to the first timers..." Shindou said remembering when he and Ranmaru first saw Tenma dead.

Tsurugi sighed. "Once I saw him with an arrow to his head, then another time I saw him in a military outfit with a fake gun..." Tsurugi said, he then face palmed and said; "This one time I saw him dead wearing a bear outfit...I was thinking about closing the door on him but then he got up and took the head off and told me to 'not leave me' with a teary expression..."

Shindou thought about something when he noticed the time. "Alright practice is done for today you may all now leave!" he called and everyone replied with a "Yes Sir" and ran to the locker room while chatting with each other.

* * *

LATER

Tsurugi was now on the floor with Tenma cleaning the floor of the "blood", this time Tenma had a knife to his back and stomach and he used WAY too much blood. "Next time be careful of the amount..." he told the brunet who chuckled sheepishly.

"Sorry..." Tenma apologized with a smile.

Tsurugi just can't stay mad at that look.

* * *

TOMORROW MORNING

Tsurugi walked around the streets carrying plastic bags of used tissue filled with blood. He then suddenly saw a familiar teal haired boy. "Morning Kariya..." he called.

"Oh hey Tsuru-"

Tsurugi stare at Kariya as he watched him drop his own bag of burnable garbage while staring at him. Tsurugi followed the other's eyes and remembered he was holing some tissues with fake blood which looked real and made him look like he just murdered someone.

"Its...not what you think..."

* * *

LATER

Tsurugi looked towards the kitchen counter to watch Tenma as he chopped some vegetables and hum some tune. "Hey Tenma..." he called.

"Yeah?" Tenma asked from the kitchen with a smile.

"I love you, but could you at least spare me and remember to take the arrow off your head and wipe off the blood before you start cooking?"

* * *

TOMORROW

"All the time?" Ranmaru asked as he and Tsurugi bumped into each other in the market while Tenma went off to buy some vegetables and fruits while he went to look for some other things.

"Yeah...When I get home Tenma always pretends to be dead... I have to say its impressive on what he would think of when he pretends to be dead..." Tsurugi said as he looked at some of the tea on the shelves.

"Did you ever compliment him about it?" Ranmaru asked.

"Once...but then he would get all caught up in it so I try to ignore him most of the time...except ignoring him only makes him cry..." Tsurugi said and saw Tenma coming their way. "Did yo find what we need" he asked and Tenma nodded.

"What are you guys making?" Ranmaru asked.

"Bonito Tataki!" Tenma said.

"He told me he wanted to make them yesterday in his dying message" Tsurugi said.

Ranmaru just stayed quiet to that and watched the two leave. They were a really interesting couple.

* * *

TOMORROW

Tsurugi was in a meeting now with some other coaches from other schools together with Shindou thinking about having a practice competition with each other. He looked down to his phone seeing a picture of himself with Tenma. He sighed, he wouldn't be coming home in the usual time today so he needed to send a message.

"Tsurugi if you're going to text Tenma, do it now" Taiyou said with a smile.

Tsurugi looked up at Taiyou and nodded. He then began to text him about coming home late today because of he meeting.

"How is he by the way?" Taiyou began.

Tsurugi looked up at Taiyou. "Fine..." he said and sent the message, instantly a reply came saying that he understood and he would just wait for him at home. Tsurugi then hid his phone and began to pay attention to the meeting, well he tried anyway. Soon he began to day dream and remember the time when they were teenager.

He remembered about when they were teenagers they would just drive all night and end up at the beach, he remembered that even though he was busy he always had time to sneak away and just meet with him whenever he got the time, he then remembered when they got married and he got a job as a coach in Rimon he and Tenma was really happy and yet he got much more busy... Now that he thought about it, he never really thought about how Tenma felt waiting for him at home every single day.

Tsurugi sighed when a sudden image of Tenma all curled up to a ball on the couch reading the message he sent over and over. Now that he thought about it he probably wouldn't see him pretending to be dead today and sighed again.

* * *

LATER

He stood at the to his house. It was already eleven and he knew Tenma must have been asleep by now. With another sigh he turned the doorknob and came in. "I'm home..." he called and looked inside; no dead body in front of the door. He went in to the the room on the right and saw Tenma at the table, his face buried in his arms. Tsurugi looked at him and wondered;_ 'I wonder if Tenma does all this deaths because he wants us to be how we used to be before...'_

He then walked over to him and was about to touch him when his head suddenly fell off...

...

...

...

...

"Welcome home Tsurugi!" Tenma suddenly came out from under the table with a grin.

"You...found a new tactic huh..." Tsurugi asked with a small smile as the brunet came out from under the table.

"Yup!" Tenma said cheerfully holding the dummy's head.

Tsurugi just pat his head and laughed lightly._ 'If he wants us to be what we used to be...I'll never know...'_ he told himself.

* * *

TOMORROW

Tsurugi opened the door to his house and looked down to see Tenma with a black soccer ball on his back and his dying message had the letter A, obviously for Alea Academy. He got that after hearing the story from Kariya. He just smirked at him and lightly poked his head.

Tenma felt the poking and slightly opened his eyes and slowly looked up and found Tsurugi on the ground with blood and a knife to his back. He stared in shock at Tsurugi and gasped when he saw blood spurt out from under the knife. "KYOUSUKE? !" he called in shock and watched his husband raise his head with a smirk while holding a button.

"Gottcha" Tsurugi said and began to laugh.

Tenma looked bewildered for a moment before smiling and laughing together with him.

Tsurugi smiled at the brunet, if this was his way of showing his love to him then he might as well join him in the fun.

* * *

A WEEK LATER

Tsurugi stood outside the door to his house with a small smile. He didn't know why but today he was excited to see what kind of death Tenma thought of today and so he took the door knob and opened the door.

**"I'm home"**

* * *

**Star: this was fun XD**

**Kagaya: not really...the song is pretty funny though...it called When I get home my wife always pretends to be dead by Miku...**

**HOPE YOU ENJOYED PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW! -Unemori Twins-**


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